Cemetery Etiquette: What You Should Know

When you really stop to think about it, a cemetery is a pretty special place. It serves the unique purpose of filling the needs of the living while honoring the memory of those who have passed on.

If you have a loved one buried in a cemetery, you know just how precious that piece of land is to you and your family. It represents love, loss, and grief.

Time spent at a cemetery is meant to be a healing, peaceful experience and it never hurts to be reminded of what is and isn’t considered appropriate behavior.

With that being said, let’s take a little time to review what you should know about cemetery etiquette.

Driving

Driving in a cemetery requires the average person to be a little more patient and cautious than normal.

If there isn’t a posted speed limit, a good rule of thumb is to stay under 15 miles per hour.

It is polite to pull off to the side of the road if you cross paths with another vehicle on a narrow roadway. And under no circumstances should a person park on the grass or close to a grave marker.

Drivers are advised to give funeral processions and walkers the right of way. They need to constantly be on the lookout for anyone not paying attention to their surroundings as well.

Socializing

A cemetery can be a busy place, especially on the weekends. It is important to consider that not everyone feels comfortable engaging in conversation.

In general it’s best to give others their privacy by keeping to oneself. Saying hello to another person in passing is usually a welcomed greeting, but socializing beyond that may not be appropriate.

Burial Sites

There are a couple points to be mindful of regarding burial spaces and grave markers.

Touching the memorial of someone you did not know is not advised. It is, however, ok to gently place your hand on a loved one’s marker. Carefully removing debris from a grave marker and/or cleaning it is fine to do as well.

And lastly, decorations or mementos that have been left on the grave are not to be removed.

Walking

Cemetery etiquette involves walking respectfully and avoiding stepping on graves, decorations, or flowers.

When trying to locate or access a grave, it is recommended that visitors use pathways and sidewalks as much as possible. Walking in between headstones and around burial plots is also courteous.

Also, try to give space to other mourners when walking by them.

Noise & Cell Phones

A cemetery is meant to be a quiet, peaceful place.

While no one is expected to be completely silent, visitors should keep their voices down as noise tends to carry outdoors.

Making an effort to do even the smallest gestures such as shutting a car door softly and turning down the radio will be appreciated by others.

Carrying a cell phone in a cemetery for safety purposes is always a good idea, but it should either be silenced or turned off.

Funeral Processions

Knowing what to do if you encounter a funeral procession is part of being an informed, responsible guest.

Out of respect to the family and the deceased, drivers are expected to pull their cars to the side of the road.

Those visiting graves or exploring the grounds are to pause and remain still until the last car is out of their sight.

Onlookers are supposed to remove their hats and refrain from staring.

Graveside Service

Anyone in the general vicinity of where a graveside service is being held should try to keep their distance as much as possible.

There are times when it’s necessary to take an alternate route to get to a grave or to exit the premises. And in some cases, a person will have to wait for a service to end before going to their intended destination.

Children

It’s great to acclimate children to cemeteries and get them used to paying their respects. However, parents and guardians need to be aware that a large open greenspace may look like a playground in the eyes of a child.

Explaining to little ones the significance of memorialization will help them understand why they aren’t allowed to run around or disturb other gravesites or markers.

Giving kids a constructive task such as pulling weeds or watering flowers can help keep them busy and prevent them from wandering off.

Pets

Some people find solace in having their family pet accompany them to a loved one’s final resting place. Others like to bring their animal counterparts to the cemetery for exercise.

Regardless of the reason for the visit, owners need to confirm that the cemetery allows pets on the premises. And hopefully it goes without saying that pet parents should always carry a waste bag.

If a pet doesn’t have a very friendly demeanor or has a tendency to be vocal, it is probably best to leave him or her at home.

Litter

Grounds maintenance crews and horticulturists take great pride in keeping cemeteries well-manicured and looking nice.

Leaving the cemetery in the same condition as when you arrived, is appreciated by the grounds crew and others who are visiting.

Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in what we are doing and forget to pick up after ourselves.

Guests must be certain they don’t leave any trash or debris behind. If there aren’t designated trash receptacles, visitors can simply hold on to their trash and dispose of it after returning home.

Follow the Cemetery Rules

In addition to the etiquette guidelines that have been covered so far, most cemeteries have their own set of regulations for guests to follow.

They are usually posted on some type of sign near the cemetery’s entrance.

This makes it convenient for visitors to see what the cemetery’s hours are and read through rules pertaining to flowers, decorations, etc.

Cemetery Etiquette Is All About Respect

It would be unrealistic to think that someone could remember all of the dos and don’ts covered in this blog.

My hope is that the biggest take away is proper cemetery etiquette boils down to respect – respecting other guests, respecting the deceased, and respecting the individuals who take care of the grounds.

At the end of the day, I think it is safe to say that anyone whose intentions are rooted in respect is doing their part to preserve the calm and reverence of the cemetery.

2 responses to “Cemetery Etiquette: What You Should Know”

1. Dianne Brown says:

   May 5, 2022 at 8:26 pm

   Can you accommodate my funeral service have information on our social media presence

   Reply
   • Becca.B says:

     May 9, 2022 at 12:04 pm

     Thank you for your inquiry. This is a great question you will want to include when pre-planning your final wishes with your local funeral provider.

     Reply