6 Reasons Why You Should Attend a Funeral

There are certain things in life we know we should do, but don’t necessarily want to do. Can you count the number of times you’ve heard someone say they don’t like going to the dentist, the DMV, or working on a Saturday?

Chances are you haven’t heard anyone say they are looking forward to attending a funeral. Many people are uneasy about going to end-of-life ceremonies and find them to be stressful. They may have a difficult time figuring out what to say to the bereaved, and many times, they worry memories of previous losses could resurface and trigger them emotionally.

Understanding the overall impact a loss can have on ourselves and others in advance can often help to push us past our hesitations. To help you mentally prepare, I have compiled the following list of why it’s important to go to a funeral:

1. Offering Condolences

If you have ever had someone special in your life pass away, you are all too familiar with the whirlwind of emotions and painful feelings that accompany a death. Funerals allow those left behind to be comforted at one of the lowest points in their life.

Whether it’s through a warm embrace or kind words, the love and compassion you extend to the bereaved lets them know they are not walking alone in grief. Being surrounded by a strong support system is also a reminder they will have help navigating the trying days ahead.

2. Honoring a Life

Life is a gift. Every human being who walked this earth influenced the lives of others in some capacity and deserves to be honored in a dignified manner. A funeral is the perfect venue to do just that.

Guests are provided with a deeper insight into the departed’s character and value system. Picture displays and personal mementos allow different stages of a loved one’s life to be showcased. Eulogies enable guests to learn about the deceased’s achievements and passions.

Those who attend a funeral are able to take in every aspect of the service while respectfully paying tribute to a life well lived.

3. Saying a Last Goodbye

Saying a final farewell helps us come to terms with death. Funerals allow us to process our thoughts and begin to accept that our life has been altered.

Shedding tears and expressing raw emotion in the presence of others is not only to be expected, but is also healthy and can prompt support from other mourners.

Those who do not take the opportunity to say goodbye may have a difficult road to recovery and could suffer feelings of regret in the future.

Funerals are, of course, intended to memorialize and celebrate a loved one, but we must not forget they are also for the living.

4. Reconnecting with Others

Family and friends who may not have seen each other for years can reunite and reconnect at funerals. Despite an underlying presence of sadness, some joy can be found in reminiscing about the past and telling stories.

Although there is always time to engage with other guests prior to and immediately following services, attending a post ceremony luncheon or gathering offers ample time for socializing.

Witnessing those whose lives were impacted by the deceased interacting with one another is uplifting to the bereaved’s spirits and reassures them their loved one’s memory will live on through others.

5. Avoiding a “Grocery Store Visitation”

End-of-life ceremonies offer a platform for members of the community to openly convey their sympathies in a controlled setting at a time when mourners are mentally prepared to receive consolation.

If you happen to cross paths with the bereaved at the grocery store or other public place, you may find yourself offering condolences at an inopportune time. Please be aware that this could be uncomfortable for the other person and might evoke emotions he or she may not want to openly express at that time.

If you know someone who recently suffered a loss and were unable to attend services, sending flowers, preparing a meal, or mailing a card with a thoughtful note are all suitable alternatives.

6. Reflecting on our Own Lives

A funeral is an occasion that enables us to take a step back from our own lives and reflect on memories we made, goals we attained, and relationships we built. For some, an end-of-life ceremony can be motivation to reprioritize and focus on the people and things that matter most.

The overall ambiance combined with listening to eulogies, religious readings, and emotive music may also lead to thoughts of our own mortality. Many guests will walk away with a different outlook on life and may even gather ideas for their own final send-off.

Your Attendance Matters

Several people have told me of their reluctance to attend a funeral because they didn’t know the person who passed away very well or even at all. The deceased might have been a friend of a friend or a distant relative. My advice for anyone in this position is to take the time out of your day and go to the service. It can be especially meaningful that you care enough to go despite not having had a personal relationship with the loved one.

With the exception of extenuating circumstances such as sickness or having to travel a far distance, I strongly encourage you to be part of the final milestone of a fellow human being. Your presence will most certainly be remembered and appreciated by those left behind.

Have you now found yourself thinking about the type of end of life ceremony you would like to have for yourself or a loved one? If so, I invite you to read next month’s blog that will offer tips for planning a funeral.